So, my humans have recently celebrated something called Christmas. I have come to realise that this is prime food opportunity.

There was a lot of food that passed through the house, there was something called ‘turkey’ followed by ‘beef.’ Now, having been to a farm, I knew what a turkey looked like, but I don’t think I have ever come across an animal called ‘beef’ I do wonder what they look like.

Anyhow, the smell was amazing, my wee nose was in overdrive, did nothing for my hunger pains. Since moving in with my humans, I have developed very strong and appealing puppy dog eyes. Oh boy, I know how to play that card.

But even that didn’t work!! I kept being told I’d had my tea! Where did they think I was, Edinburgh?

During all this Christmas stuff, they talked about Jesus coming down from heaven. And you know whet, that might just be true. I discovered that if you are patient, then good things come to those who wait.

Turkey and beef, they did fall to the floor, well, the odd bits of them as food was being moved from plate to plate. I got my reward in the end.

The moral of this tail is………..We might spend a lot of time looking upwards in hope, but the rewards are often here on the ground and right in front of your nose. Don’t get caught looking in the wrong direction.

Recently my dad took me to the Guild. I had no idea what to expect, or who might be there. He says I have fans who want to meet me. Even better, they wanted to feed me!

Although, the entire day was a bit out of my comfort zone as a dog. You must remember that afternoons are for napping in my book. It’s about avoiding eye contact when people mention walks, especially if it is raining!

The afternoon started off with some singing, then some music, and a lot of foot tapping and arm waving where everyone did ‘exercises’ in chairs. I found the whole thing very amusing to watch.

Then it was dad’s turn to speak, but I kinda switched off then as, well, I’ve heard it all before. It’s kinda funny, but only the first time…don’t tell him I said that now….

The best thing about the day was treats. My new fans were all keen to feed me, a treat here, a treat there. It was an extremely rewarding afternoon from that angle I can tell you, my belly was full!

But here’s the thing, everyone enjoyed it too, there was lots of laughter, tea and cake.

The moral of this tail is………..Don’t get caught napping in the afternoons, you might just miss out on something fun that you never knew was happening.

Over the past 4 years I have had to learn to communicate with my family.  But they are a bit slow on the uptake at understanding me at times.  They just don’t understand my barks.  It’s like I am talking a different language! 

I often bark and they look at me and say, ‘I don’t know what you want.’ Do they think I am barking for nothing? (editor – see chapter 2 in the previous newsletter!).  I bark to get my toys, I bark to go out, I bark to get fed.  It’s not all that complicated. 

There was one evening recently where I barked beside my toy box and Alan (dad) took every toy out, which I sniffed, and he was a bit huffy when I didn’t want any of them.  I was only barking for a treat, not a toy, sheesh, will he ever learn. 

I have taken the time to learn their words though.  So, I know walk, ball, treat, tea, breakfast, and lunch.  I can respond to any of these with no bother at all.  I am supposed to know stay, leave, down, and no, but I sometimes forget (well pretend to forget) what these words mean.  If they don’t understand my barks….well…..Idon’t have to always understand them. 

They think they are being smart at time too.  Recently they have stopped saying ‘tea’ as every time they mention a cup of tea, of their tea, I think they are meaning my tea.  Even though I’vealready had my tea.  So, now they are talking about ‘Dexy’s food intake’ instead of tea.  But I have already cottoned on to that one!  Right, enough from me….I’m off to bark and see if they understand this time. 

The moral of this tail is………..Trying to understand what someone is really saying is key.  If someone doesn’t understand what you are barking for, it’s important to think why that is, rather than just keep barking.  Sometimes we have to learn to bark so they understand. If I want to go out, I can’t just bark.  I need to stand at the back door and bark.  Then everyone is clear.

If we don’t act, we can end up with a mess on the carpet, and nobody wants that!

Now, on the whole I`m a pretty quiet dog, really easy going and laid back.   But, what my owners did not realise,  they were getting a highly trained guard dog almost on the level of the SAS.   I am there to serve and protect.  So far this week I have alerted them to the dangers of the Amazon delivery man, the Asda delivery man, the post man (on several occasions),  2 pigeons, a hare and a dodgy looking carrier bag on the grass.

They do not always appreciate my interventions, but I have to keep them safe.  So in an effort to keep the element of surprise, I will at times bark at nothing just to keep them on their toes.  That is especially effective in the car when it is nice and quiet and they have almost  forgotten I was there.   That can really make them jump.

Now, let me tell you, although I am highly skilled there are times when I can also be caught off guard.   For example, there was the time a neighbour put out some cardboard boxes for collection.   My mum thought we should just walk past them!!   Was she serious?   I was not for budging so I had to be carried past.   I have to admit that was a little humiliating, especially when there was no danger at all.   There was also the mysterious sign that said “Santa Please Stop Here”  – under no circumstances was I walking past that on a dark night.   Evasive action was called for and we had to cross the road and back every night until it was gone.   So even a highly trained guard dog like myself can get caught out.

The moral of this tail is.………...not everything needs barked at.   Sometimes you are better off crossing the road to keep out of harm`s way,  rather then making a big noise that might frighten people away.